you say goodbye, i'll say...
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4:00 AM | Category: |

15. Is Love Blind?


Have you ever witnessed a moment in time where, from the very beginning, you knew that this was one of those moments? The kind of moment that, from the first glimpse, note, or taste, you just knew from the bottom of your heart that this was a moment that you would tell your grandchildren about, the kind of moment that would inspire, to aspire, to achieve. These moments are the pattern in the embroidery we call life, and the very substance of existence. 

//edit

so since i started working on this post, my seemingly innocuous, apparently inconspicuous, obviously inert life has undergone a whirlwind of change. I've completely lost my train of thought while thinking up other superfluous adjectives to depict the movie that is my life. If your life was a movie, what kind would it be? if it was a song? if it was an entree? 

//edit 4.11

So this is what it feels like to have a hole in one's heart.

If you're reading this, you probably know that I of all people hate airing my dirty laundry in any public forum. But what's a blog for, besides a catharsis, right? So it's saturday morning, and this past week has just been a crazy roller coaster of emotion. In the past 168 hours, it's been the best of times, it's been the worst of times. In the past 10,080 minutes, I have loved, and lost. In the past 604,800 seconds, I have had my eyes opened to a cruel truth of humanity - the fact that people leave - by the one person I thought of as a constant in my life.

In the past 9 hours, I have heard the words that I never thought I'd hear, not from her, who was supposed to be the one...

I don't love you anymore.

Oh, of course, it wasn't quite that succinct; for some reason, when hurting another, the words don't quite come, do they? Or you'd have to be a monster. But hiding behind all the halfhearted assurances and dramatic silences, those five words could be seen, looming larger with every passing second, minute, hour, until I just knew that this was the end.

This is supposed to make me feel better, but it really isn't helping. I suppose for some hurts, there's only one cure... so it's time to take my daily dose of korean drama, where there's always a happy ending. I'm tired of writing. 

Once, you told me that it's hard for you to follow my writing. So I'll put it simply for you. You will never hear from me again.

-the movie of my life, act ix sc. iii

the movie of my life... right now, I'd have to say that it is a tragedy.

11:35 AM | Category: |